Is networking a sales tool? Or is it something completely different? When should you sell and when should you network?
Rainy day activities in my childhood home invariably involved a deck of cards. Playing solitaire, Canasta with mum or patiently building the biggest house of cards I could before my little brother would come and knock it over. All it would take was a well directed blow and all would be flattened.
Building a network is no different. It is impossible to build a solid, responsive and reliable network on a deck of business cards. There is no foundation or relationship to go with each one and hold it in place.
Solid networks are built on solid foundations. I can’t stress this enough! After witnessing tens of thousands of people network over the years, my conviction on this point is rock solid. The days of handing your business card to all at events is well and truly over. You cannot have a relationship with a piece of cardboard and these usually end up in the bin. These days, networking functions serve to introduce you to like minded people with whom you can build a relationship. The key is to be curious about everyone and find those people with whom YOU click.
It is no secret that people will engage with and buy from those they like. In today’s cluttered landscape effective networking has become more critical than ever. Solid business relationships that work are vital for success in any industry, in any company and in any career.
A true story and a perfect example of how not to network
To illustrate this, let’s meet two people Sally and Cathy (names have been changed but these are true cases). Cathy is someone I met at a business meeting a number of years ago. Cathy and I got on well from that first meeting and have remained connected. During that first meeting Cathy told me what she was working on and asked me if I would be interested in supporting this. I wasn’t in a position to help but asked to learn more about the project. After this we chatted and got to know each other a little bit.
I did like Cathy and we kept in touch but I was wary about getting involved, or referring her to others, as her sales tactics immediately put me on the defensive. Every single time after this meeting that we have connected, I have been sold to, for one thing or another. It felt like I was only worth catching up with when she had something to sell. My business relationship with her didn’t feel respected or validated. The last straw came only recently when we caught up and after the obligatory 5 minute small talk, and after looking at her watch, she launched into a massive pitch for her latest project. If Cathy had said she wanted to talk to me about something I may have been prepared but she had invited me for coffee to catch up as “it had just been too long”. I was genuinely looking forward to catching up and left feeling deflated and used.
Be a network builder instead
Now meet Sally, Sally is a person I met at a networking function, also a few years ago. Sally took the initiative when we met to suggest and then organise the first coffee catch up after the event. Sally and I shared a good hour of conversation that covered topics from what made us smile to what inspired us to do what we do. We did discuss business but at no point during that conversation did we enter into a sales process. It was simply a chance to get to know each other.
The next time Sally and I connected, we went to a networking function together. We agreed to go and meet others during the event and catch up for a coffee afterwards. Our conversation was inspired to say the least! The speaker had energised our thinking and we had both met some fascinating people. With our brains in high-gear we came up with some fantastic business strategies for both of us. Still, at no point, did we sell to each other.
One month later, Sally and I caught up again. In between meetings there had been a couple of emails to further refine our ideas and also to prod each other into action! At this meeting, Sally shared with me a contact of hers that was looking for coaching in my area of expertise. She was comfortable to refer me based on her knowledge of my ethics, even though we had never worked together. Similarly, I came across an opportunity for Sally not long after, and a couple more times since.
Sally and I continue to catch up and often she will join my table at a networking event. We have become supportive friends and have referred each other many times. At no point have we tried to sell to each other, however, if I ever had a need for someone with her expertise I would definitely call her first!
Mutual respect = more sales
Do you see the difference? My relationship with Sally has been much more enjoyable and much more productive for both of us! Our connection was based on mutual respect and enjoying each other’s company. My relationship with Cathy has been uneven and sometimes tenuous and I have never referred her. Ever.
Sales is sales. If you want to sell to someone then make a sales appointment and allow them to be prepared. Networking is about building strong relationships that provide a safety net and a protective cocoon around you. Think of it this way: when you network, you search for people who you like, are curious about and push you to be better. You are not networking to sell to them. Play your cards right and you will create a supportive connection, enjoy yourself in the process and network with THEIR network. They are often the ones who will be chatting to your next big client – not you.
This post was written by Kim McGuinness, managing director of Network Central and Centrum Events. She is is perhaps most widely recognised as the founder of The Businesswomen’s Breakfast Series, which began in March 1999 and has grown to become one of Australia’s premier women’s networking events.
Coffee image by Phil Monger.
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